A couple of weeks ago I had a client come onto our coaching session in tears. “Something is wrong, I’m not myself,” she said. This is not unusual. Many of the women I work with come to me because they don’t feel like themselves anymore, because their confidence has been knocked, or because they know they cannot keep going the way they are, or they will burn out. But this was different.
“I’m challenging things I have never challenged before and people don’t like it, they want to know what is wrong with me. I don’t know what to do. If I keep challenging when people cross my boundaries, I’m going to upset them but if I go back to being quiet, then I’m going to upset myself.” This is quite the conundrum, especially if you’ve always been one to take care of and please everyone else.
As we worked through her situation, she realised that the challenge was a consequence of her increased confidence, and that the change was a good thing, although something that would take a bit of getting used to. I reflected on this after the session and realised that this had been my own experience and something I had seen in other clients I have worked with too. I therefore needed to start making it clear for potential future coachees.
So here we go, three things I need to warn you about before you start developing your confidence with me. Number one, it’s going to take work. Just as my above client experienced, growing your confidence means getting out of your comfort zone, which can be scary. But trust me when I say I’m going to here for you to support you through the process. I do need you to commit to doing the work though, that’s one thing I can’t do for you.
Number two, you are going to change. As your self-awareness grows, you are going to start doing things and thinking about things differently. Change can be scary, but I promise you that by tweaking just small things in your life, you’re going to see huge and amazing differences which will increase your confidence and improve your health and wellbeing.
Number three, people might not like you anymore. That’s right, there are people out there who like you just the way you are because it serves a purpose for them. When you start putting boundaries in place, doing things differently, being able to put yourself first, and generally growing as a person, they are potentially going to respond negatively. These are not your people. Your people will applaud your growth and support you no matter what.
I’m really sorry to have to break some of these things to you but as I said, I think it’s important to understand what authentic confidence really means and what is involved in the process of getting there. The benefits are huge and will change your life for the better but real change requires commitment, investment, and hard work.
If you’re ready to start the journey of becoming your more authentically confident self, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message on firstname.lastname@example.org, follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and TikTok, or sign up to my mailing list by copying and pasting the following subscribepage.io/oV9aUc