Self-investment: why does it feel so scary?

Self-investment: why does it feel so scary?

As women, we willingly spend so much of our time, money and energy investing in other people – our children, our families, our colleagues, our clients… but when it comes to investing in ourselves? We struggle big time.


Even when we know that were in a situation that we don’t want to be in and that we would massively benefit from some support, taking that step can feel so impossible that many of us don’t ever take it. 


I’m Leanne, I’m a Self-development Specialist and I work with women on a range of different topics that are stopping them from feeling happy in their life and career. 


Out of the many women that I’ve helped, only a small handful have chosen to invest in themselves straight away. Most have deliberated over the concept for weeks and months before deciding to go for it. I also know that many of the women that have expressed an interest in my services, will probably never take the plunge and invest in themselves.


Today I want to unpack with you:


•What money mindset is and how it can impact your attitude towards self-investment.


•My experience of the common reasons why women can be reluctant to invest in themselves.


•Some tangible action steps you can take right away to help you if you have a dilemma around self-investment. 


What is your money mindset?


Your money mindset is your unique and individual set of core beliefs about money and how money works in the world. It is your attitude about money. Your money mindset shapes what you believe you can and cannot do with money, how much money you believe you’re allowed, entitled, and able to earn, how much you can and should spend or invest, the way you utilize debt, how much money you give away, and your ability to invest with confidence and success.


Essentially, your financial habits — good and bad — are rooted in your money mindset. 


Your money mindset is formed through a variety of different things including your environment, influences from family, friends, and other areas as you navigate through life. And your views will also drive decisions about managing money.


Understanding your money mindset and where it came from, can help you if you want to change it. Simply raising your awareness is a great place to start, so I invite you to pay attention to your thoughts, behaviours, and actions around money. Your thoughts about money will influence your feelings, your feelings will influence your actions and your actions influence your results. Notice what you notice.


Why does self-investment feel so hard to do?


Whilst it’s normal that self-investment can feel a little (or really) scary, it’s worth exploring why that is, in my experience, it’s usually due to one of these reasons.


1. You’re used to spending money on other things.


Often, we can feel ok about spending money but investing money in our development can feel much more uncomfortable. Here’s what I mean; Many of us often don’t think twice about shelling out £3 a day on a coffee which adds up to just short of £100 a month but we would hesitate on spending that same amount on an online course.


2. You don’t have the money. 


There’s a difference between being cautious about spending money and/or changing your priorities around what you spend money on and not having the money to spend in the first place. You need to be honest with yourself when considering investing. If you don’t have the money and you can’t find it by cutting back on other things, then please be wary of any person or organisation that pressures you to get into debt to enable you to invest with them.


3. You Feel selfish.


You’re so used to putting everyone else’s needs before your own, that the concept of prioritising yourself and your needs feels extremely alien and downright uncomfortable. This is particularly prevalent amongst mums who feel like they can’t ‘justify’ spending money on themselves when they could be spending it on their little one(s).


4. You’re too proud


This reason revolves around an inner belief that we should not need any help to be successful and that asking for help is weak, reveals vulnerability and is admitting failure. We judge ourselves and tell ourselves that we ‘should’ be able to sort the problem on our own.


5. You’re not sure if the investment is right for you.


Investing is a big deal. You’re not only investing financially, but you’re also investing your time and for many of us that’s equally as, if not more, precious. It’s essential to not rush into things and do your research but be mindful of not getting stuck down online rabbit holes.


6. You’re paralysed by Overwhelm 

Most people who are looking for support are feeling some level of overwhelm. The fact that there are so many options out there for professional resources and support providers, it’s no wonder people don’t know where to start so they close the lid of their laptop and don’t do anything.


7. You’re scared.


What happens if you invest in yourself and then it doesn’t work? The worry of making a wrong move can often result in many women unfortunately not making any moves and ultimately paying the price of living a life that they are unhappy in.


What to do if you have an investment dilemma


Step 1: Acknowledge what you’re afraid of. Be honest with yourself about the real reason that you’re holding back. 


Step 2: List the pros and cons. Consider the argument for and against you making this investment and remember to consider how it will impact you and those around you.


Step 3: Explore the best and worst cases. What is the absolute best outcome you could hope for, what is the worst-case scenario, what would that mean and how could you recover?


Step 5: Understand the cost fully. What will spending this money potentially bring you and what’s the cost of not investing and staying where you are.


Step 6: Make an informed choice based on your individual circumstances. Don’t be influenced by others as they are not you. 


I hope this has been thought-provoking for you and has helped you to understand your mindset around self-investment.


There are so many ways that you can invest in yourself that don’t require a big time or financial commitment.


 A great way to kickstart your self-investment journey is my free weekly self-development email, The Check-in. It’s fully focussed on ensuring that you’re a priority in your own life and helping you live it in a way that gives you unbelievable happiness and fulfilment.


You can join the hundreds of other women who receive exercises, hacks, tips, ideas, interviews, inspiration and more by signing up for free here:

The Check-in | You First Coaching


About the author:


Leanne Cooper is a Self-development specialist who uses the power of coaching, mentoring and training to support high achieving but unfulfilled women to experience unstoppable success on their terms, without sacrificing themselves in the process.

You can find more information about Leanne’s story, the work that she does and who she helps here:


Personal Development Coach for Women | You First Coaching